Tonight, as I walked into the gym with Braelynne (my oldest) for routine, Thursday evening, tumbling practice, I couldn’t help but to notice the same stares I get every week.
It’s the stare that makes me want to say, “boo!”, right as I pass your face. You know the stare I’m talking about. The extra judgy stare from one mom to another.. but instead I always smile, sometimes say hi, and keep moving along. I mean, I don’t like your blouse either Karen, but if it makes you happy, do you girlfriend.
Listen ladies, I have tattoos. A lot of them. “Scary” ones and sweet ones. Big ones and small ones. Some have meaning and some were a spur of the moment idea. Guess what? They make me, ME & I love them! 👏🏻 I also have an unhealthy obsession with crop tops. Partially due to the fact that it is disrespectfully HOT outside! I sure am glad to know Jesus is saving me a spot in Heaven because if it’s hotter than this in hell, me and Satan just ain’t gonna be able to make that work! 🥵 Plus, I know some sweet, little, ladies think I look like a “scary, biker chick” with these tattoos but I assure you, I am not. I’m a sweet, little, lady, just like you. Yes, even you Karen.
Back to the crop tops – little do you know, a year ago and all of the years leading up to this point, I would have NEVER been caught dead in a crop top. Over the past year I have put in the hardest work of my life to rebuild myself mentally and physically. I am in the best shape I have ever been in and at 29 years old, I’m rockin’ whatever clothing makes me feel good! I’m a mom, you say, and you are right. I’m an awesome mom, that loves my body, works hard for my health and overall wellness and I am freaking proud. If anything, I am showing my daughters to do the same!
Honestly, I am used to the stares and comments about my tattoos and at this point in my life they just make me giggle. This had me thinking though – WHY do we as moms feel that there is only one good way to be a mom? News flash! There’s not!
Being a mom isn’t about dressing “like a mom” or driving a minivan. It’s not about perfect, untouched, skin and your baptism water you sprinkle on your children every morning before school. It’s not about gluten free diets and folding a fitted sheet without a single wrinkle left behind. Seriously, fitted sheets just piss me off. If you need one while at my house, it’s in a ball, in the linen closet…. wrinkled. It’s not about breast is best or being a SAHM is the only way. Working is selfish and so is FEEDING your child formula. Annoying. It’s not about being the best chef or raising PERFECT children that never make mistakes. I mean, my sister was pretty close to a perfect child compared to me but I think God felt the need to show my parents a little mercy after he blessed them with my stubborn butt. 🙋🏻♀️
Being a mom isn’t about what you wear, how successful you are, what you drive or where you live. Being a mom is unconditional love, raw emotion and forgiveness for yourself and your babies, over and over, every day.
I had my oldest at 18. We’ve been doing this whole growing up thing together for a solid 11 years now. Insane! How am I an adult and why did Jesus see me fit to be her mama? Who knew jamming out to “Country Grammar” by Nelly & “Ice Cream Paint Job” by Dorrough, on the way home from tumbling, with my kid, would be the BEST thing ever? Role modelish? Maybe not. Bonding? YES. She dances with me, she laughs with me, she raps with me, she cries with me and she knows ME for ME. I don’t sugar coat anything. The world is hard out there and she’s going to make it! If there is anything I have instilled in her it’s that SHE can be ANYTHING she wants to be and that she is her mother’s daughter. I will ALWAYS be beside her to hold her hand, behind her to guard her back and a step ahead of her to help guide the way. Nonetheless, be YOU, babygirl.
I am her mama. Braelynne & Haidyn’s mama. That is the BEST title I will ever hold and I don’t care about anyone’s opinion on me as a mother. I know how much I love those babies and how much I feel their love for me, so filling, that it warms my heart with enough satisfaction to say that I’m doing a pretty good job as mama.
All of this to say, being a REAL mom is about loving without conditions, always putting someone else’s well being ahead of your own, holding your ground when they’re wrong and you just want to hug them instead, trying to always do the right thing even when you have no idea what the right thing is, successfully whispering, “are you effing kidding me?” under your breath, without anyone hearing you or repeating after you, cooking a dinner no one likes or even eats, and being able to forgive yourself for losing your 💩 day in and day out.
Mamas we are supposed to be a team! We don’t have to agree but we definitely don’t have to tear each other a part. Working is hard. Staying home is hard. Momming children is freaking hard. None of us are truly sane, after having kids. Don’t lie, you know you’re crazy too.
You don’t have to be perfect, to be a real mom. 🖤
Just love your kids and love your freaking self. 🌻
– Tattooed Mama Bear 🐻